google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
