You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
