I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
