She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
