im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
