I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it's great music for shaving your balls
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
