i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
4 words: hood of his car
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
