I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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