Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
