My nipple is on Facebook.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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