okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
