The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
