does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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