i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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