bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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