Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
