I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
