I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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