didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
