return my video game
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
