yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
