According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
