This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
do herpes really smell.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
