Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
