Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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