I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
