Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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