how do flat chested girls get laid?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
