I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
