the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
