Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
