I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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