i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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