do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
