you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
