apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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