Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
