I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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