Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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