Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
