I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
