This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
