WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
