She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
