mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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