I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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