Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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