im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
