Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
