getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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